The Accountable vs The “Shunner”

blame
from qbq.com

The accountable: “If not me then who?”

And those who like it easy: “If not me then you!”

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Late Night Poetry

I was trying to be poetic while inside the UV Express one late night on my way home. I was starting to detest things and people particularly at work and it was compounded by my weariness. So before it came to that, I tried to be my romantic self instead.

xxx

Carbon monoxide, odorless, you thought was gone,

It’s seeming absence fools: there is no more harm,

Like now you’re gone I thought that was it,

Sly as the devil still potent as shit!

When It’s Good to Die Young

I can’t grow up and get old if I don’t die young.

To be able to live forever or to live for many years at least, appeals to a lot of people including myself. Who wouldn’t want to in the first place? You get to experience life’s triumphs for a long long time and you might be able to correct your mistakes in the past such that good old conscience won’t hurt that much.

Staying young however doesn’t appeal much to me. When I was young, I had no voice, no rights whatsoever. I hated how hormones during puberty got the best of me when I had no choice (or so it seemed) but to let them take over. The frequent visit of depression and my failure to understand and appreciate my introversion (and the power that lies in being quiet) were the main villains of my nauseating roller-coaster ride.

If I’d be asked to go back in time to experience my youth again, I might as well say pass with much gusto. Those were dangerous times for me, when I was stupid, uninformed and too afraid to live like a greenhorn US marine in ‘Nam during the 70s.

I’d rather be older and wiser. Letting go of youth is rather a good riddance for me than parting with a good old friend in tears. It took me forever waiting to die young in order to get old fast and be the wiser version of myself. Of course there is still a lot to learn and I am not saying that I am now a complete person now that I’m older. I just don’t want to stay young petrified with life’s confounding interrogations on why the heck am I still on my feet and breathing. I wanted to grow up and to get old and wiser. Sure I still get dumbfounded at times though I’ve grown numb enough to smirk instead of cowering in fear.

If only I can retain a part of my youth now that I’m all grown up it’d be strength. But yeah I can only wish.

“Tambutso”

One thing in my bucket list is to be able to write lyrics of a rock song. How great can that be when the vocalist or even myself can play my own composed song – riff, vocals and all?!

Also, I believe that a creative mind needs some random ramblings to create something. Not a hit or miss thing if this’d go viral or what. Just rambling anything just for the sake of it because it liberates you from the mundane, and allows you to be you. I hope I wont be poetically bankrupt anymore.

So here it is, a random rambling from my random mind when this was penned:

Tambutso

Sa dulo ng tambutso
Ang syang ligaya ko
Palaging kargado
At ubo ng ubo
Ayoko ng magsolo
Sawa na ako
Ayaw nang mabobo
At di na pagagago!

Tabi Ng Bulkan – Razorback

Started with a wicked riff and now I’m hooked.

I am still reeling when one of the pillars of Pinoy rock, Pepe Smith of Juan dela Cruz band was finally told by the Almighty to take a rest for good. Likewise for Brian Velasco who even aired live his last bid to make sense of his life as he plummeted to his death. This is to pay homage to Pepe and Brian, and the other Pinoy rock bands who continue to make rock and metal music despite that majority of the populace already succumbed to K(ulangot) Pop and pop in general.

RAZORBACK
taken from where it came from

But bands like Pepe’s and the one featured above – Razorback refused to die into oblivion. There will always be ambassadors of rock, and I myself is one of them. It doesn’t need that you have a band yourself. All it takes is a promotion (even here in my little known page) and a lifestyle of rock and roll.

Mabuhay kayo Razorback! Mabuhay ang Pinoy Rock!!!

\ml/!!!!!!

Laments of a Poetically Bankrupt Man

Math molded me to be precise

Needs a language succinct and concise

Flowery words they leave me a-gasping

Poetic dementia that robbed me of feelings.

Oh the Muse how can I woe?

When poetic words refused to flow

Words intended to make her heart go fonder

Comes out stale, bland, and bitter.

Tis’ emotions that sustain fire

That either lift hearts or sink deeper in mire

Emotions I vehemently denied to takeover

Feelings that I deliberately murder.

To their deathly hold I rid off me

To spare me of existence’s agony

Such as this so hefty a price:

A poetic man’s demise.

祈り十一 (いのりじゅういち )

Does my dependence on the Lord and my admission of weakness over His omnipotence make me a wimp?

Not at all!

If I believe that Christ is in me, that makes me no less of a man. Using me is for His glory not mine. And though He chose a lowly me, it magnifies Him like darkness magnifies the light. So if Christ lives in me, it’s no longer the wimp me.

Am I a lost soul because of this? Am I no longer me for allowing Someone bigger than me to take over the reigns? No. For I am a son of God, part of His children that takes comfort in his presence and basks in His eternal love and justice.

And just so that I wont forget, none of the glory is mine. But I am more than a vessel. “For I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”

祈り十 (いのりじゅう)

Thank You Lord for Your blessing. Help me Lord that I always be reminded that I am saved by Your grace and that I have the opportunity to consult Your loving wisdom on how do I go about.

I still struggle Lord with doubts, prejudices, unrest, pride, hate, lust – but I pray Lord that You please be with me that I may mature from a selfish man to a responsible, God-fearing, and abiding to your word.

May I always be reminded that I am working for You. And that that fact should be enough of a reason for me to do my very best to deliver to the best of my abilities. And instead of focusing on the negative, may You please give me the wisdom and ability to discern a unique cry for help, or wish for assistance from the people in here.

And when they see me, may I leave an impression of a man whose expertise I am wholeheartedly willing to share without strings attached. Let me not confuse this with a selfless act and abandonment of self respect.