Classified Ads*

(*This post from my previous, now defunct blog is already two years old. This is also the piece I used for my social experiment on the succeeding post.)

Seen in the classified ads section of a local broadsheet:

Looking for work? Be jobless no more!

Come and Join Any of the MAUTE GROUP OF COMPANIES:
* Abu Sayyaf Group Inc. (Terrorism at Its Best!)
* BIFF Holdings Inc. (Atrocity? Terrorism? ♪We Got Them All for You♫)
* CPP-NPA-NDF and Partners (Guaranteed to Make War When There’s Peace)
* MNLF Banking Corp. (Financing Your Way to Worldwide Terror)
* MILF Inc. (The Maker of Quality Bombs)

A Proud Member of the ISIS International, Jemaah Islamiyah Global, and Al Qaeda World and funded by first world countries.

Benefits Include:
1.       Lifetime permanent employment status (♪you can check out anytime you like ♫ but you can never leave♫)
2.       Embedded wellness package: Lifetime hike in the woods
3.       Good compensation with monthly supply of ammos
4.       Instant worldwide fame: in the terrorist galleries of the Interpol, FBI, and NBI
5.       Gives worth to its employees by making them fully entitled to bounties reaching up to millions of dollars depending on the number of years “experience”
6.       Ideal for adrenaline junkies who are neither too bored to live a peaceful and meaningful life nor too lazy to kill themselves

Other benefits include:
·         Physical training by world class trainers fresh from Syria, Malaysia, and Indonesia
·         Free course in Extremism 1 to Extremism 5
·         Free technical/vocational course in bomb making. No laboratory fees!

For inquiries, please contact the following:

Isnilon “Toto/Toni” Totoni Hapilon or the Maute Big Brothers
Address: Sometimes Here St., Brgy. Sometimes There, Oftentimes Nowhere Province, Mindanao, Philippines
JOMA “Gwaping” SISON
Address: The Netherlands

One thought on “Classified Ads*

  1. Pingback: My Social Experiment Regarding Perception – Motley Concoctions In A Blank Mind

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