僕の現実 Dictionary: Cleavage Cavaliers

cleavage

Cleavage Cavaliers – Every man in all walks of life’s team; they are not characterized into divisions, nor patronizes any particular star player; A fortress of men in staunch unison of upholding women’s right to uncensored ‘bosom’ expression. Of course, no one’s routing for any of the players”

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僕の現実 Dictionary: Blog

(Author’s note: 僕の現実 Dictionary ‘read in romaji as boku no genjitsu meaning my reality’ is my definition of things based on MY reality. You may find this similar to Ambrose Bierce’s The Devil’s Dictionary because I intended that they be similar. I already gave Ambi the credit due him, ok?)

Blog – an institution where a writer willfully exorcises/employs his demons on a regular basis.”

祈り八(いのりはち)

Lord, unemployment is knocking on our doors.

This is what gives us fear, the unknown, the knowledge that tomorrow we’ll have to go scouring for a company to hire us, where we will get the required sustenance for us to feed our families.

I have a loan, a small kid, a kid who is starting his elementary education and a wife to support. It’s terrifying that a day will come when I will have to go home and tell my family that daddy became a part of the retrenched ones.

Oh Lord please forbid that it will come to that point!

Let not my unbelief and self-doubt block Your grace, goodness and love from my eyes. For I tremble in fear because of uncertainty and my doubts of You has become a formidable foe before me.

That excessive faith I put in myself became nothing but shattered glass of reality.  What a frightening beast did it come to be! What was originally designed to conquer the mediocre me, now haunts me so greatly.

Save me oh Lord, save me from my pride.

Your will shall come to pass because just like Yourself, Your words are eternal. I have always been afraid of it. May be the same reason why I kept shunning it whenever possible. Part of the reason is because I don’t have the slightest idea where You’re going to put me into. And that Your will is completely different with what I have in my limited mind.

But despite my protests, I still and will always trust Your love and goodness.

And if I may oh Lord but ask You, ’tis the company that trusted in me before I did so myself. The very same company and people that nurtured the man who I am today that despite the imperfections, have considerably grown from a boy to a man. A good man at that. Won’t You please grant me that I still serve her best, good interests such that in turn I can provide for my family, learn and grow professionally.

These Lord, I earnestly pray…

The Blessing (& The Many Curses) of Social Awareness

In my bid to educate myself of what’s happening politically with the country, I adjusted my sensibility levels from a callused apathetic to uber-sensitive levels. And just as I expected, I made a breakthrough by discovering that from among the myriad of things that turn on my switches, the one that is guaranteed to piss me off big time is – you guessed it right – politics.

It’s one of those double-edged proverbial blade where you’re happy to unravel things and getting pissed at yourself for doing so – simultaneously.

It started from me studying 日本語. It went beyond studying simple to complex grammatical rules to the Japanese’s desirable traits and their qualities that made them stand out. Things like how they, from amid the rubble of the 2nd world war, were able to heal (and the rest as they say is history) while here we are, still stuck in this hellhole with its own “grand” version of history.

That million dollar question of why oh why.

They’ve done it. Nothing less than the world is their witness how they did come back. Why can’t we? What did they do right that we are doing wrong?

The deeper I dug for answers, the more convinced I became that I was born in the wrong country. Thus my misery and annoyance magnified exponentially.

I once made a pact with myself that i will only give importance to things that will benefit me and my family. To other stuff that will qualify as excess baggages, I’d let my ass face them instead. And to that, I was sorry that I did more harm to myself.

Maybe what I need to develop instead is a thick hide, how to make a poker face, and an indifferent attitude of picking what is useful and ditching what isn’t and hope that one day, I’d be able to take my family away with me from a society that doesn’t want to be fixed and who wants to be perpetually identified as hellholers.

Bra Sizes

Joke time with wife. She then explained later how hard it is for Russians to be gifted “exceptionally”.

bra size

Department store offering different bra sizes classified into the following:

Chinese – Making Mountain Out of Mole Hills

African – Uplifts the Fallen

Russian – Suppresses the Masses

That Destructive False Sense of Self Entitlement

self entitlement

Self entitlement.

One of the benefits of reading stuff that runs contrary to the greatness you think you deserve or you think you intend to keep.

Most of the time, this self-entitlement because of its egocentricity actually prevents you from doing the necessary work to succeed with whatever you want to achieve because it will plant in you a bug that tells you you’re worth it even if you don’t reach out for it. Like it’s going to be available anytime at your bidding.

What it does instead is it hinders you to do the necessary work, the nitty gritty painful stuff done by improvising inorder to stop producing shitty results due to crappy and faulty methodologies.

What should speak for itself are the results above all else. Not the pride of how something SHOULD be rightly yours without actually doing something.

I thank GRP for pointing out the destructive estate that I am in now. I know something’s wrong although I can’t put my fingers into it. It’s going to be a hopeless uphill battle if you have no idea what you’re up against.

Unmasking that something wrong is just one thing though. Having an action plan is another. As you come to this, I believe that this gets more personal deep to tackle. Contrary to expectations that you need team effort first, what you need is to settle it first with yourself and to ask yourself what it means to you. Sure you need emotional support and multitudes of ideas and different angles especially when it comes to applying it to society but what you want done and how you’d do it is still completely up to you.

You want it? Don’t just think you deserve it and do nothing or whine when it’s not handed to you in a silver platter. Get off your ass and do something.

Mathematically, what you want to achieve is proportionate to the amount of effort you put into it.

Nice Ride

“You did! You always keep on playing with my emotions everytime I visit your blog! Nice ride! :)”

One of the most awesome comments I received from a lovely reader of my now extinct blog. It’s probably one of the sincerest, and kick-ass comment that I ever or perhaps will ever have.

I cannot help but frame this one and make a written account out of which. And how I love to reminisce that moment when I first received it, it feels like I’ve won something out of a mortal combat. A feeling of vindication and surging, heads up pride of being the man of the moment!

But first, much respect and love goes to the lovely lady who wrote this to me.

I try to remember this one whenever I write something crappy, shitty or totally worthy of the waste can. If I can elicit some good emotions out of someone when I write a heartfelt composition like the post she commented on, why do I have to write crap at all?

Well for one I’m no clown. Even if I would’ve wanted to possess such a skill where you can make a roller coaster out of someone else’s emotion in no time, I aint wearing that mask long enough. I can’t.

But maybe it’s because writing is a form of exorcism where you try to purge the devil out of your system. Because it just didn’t happen to me once. Everytime I write I am performing exorcism in the hope of purging the friendly fiend off of me and make something good come out instead. That may explain the crappy outputs.

But whatever my struggles are as a writer, I will always cherish this comment. This one I will definitely keep for life.

And to you, the lovely lady who’s out to spread smiles and patch this negativity-riddled world with positivity, I hope you’re fine. Thank you for making my day. A lot of them days actually…

願う よ

何でこのタイプの曲を聞いたら,悲しがって嬉しがっていることもあるか?

ありがとう, 西野カナちゃん 😚

kana-nishino

Wishing 歌詞

僕がいなくても君は平気だよ
ふいに告げられたあの日から今でも

君の口癖も 君の笑い方も
私から何も消えていかないの

そう 何をしても そう 思い出すの
ah このままじゃ仕方がないよね
ねぇ 君はどこで ねぇ 何を想うの?
私は今でもこの場所で

いつか笑顔で会える その時まで
ずっと君のやさしさ忘れない
この想いが届くように 信じて
I’m wishing 願うよ

君がいない朝に 新しい日々に
少しずつ慣れていく日が来るのかな

そして気づいたら お互い恋をして
他の誰かを好きになるのかな

そう 同じ道を そう 歩いて来た
ah いつからか二つに分かれて
ねぇ 君は全て ねぇ 忘れてしまうの?
私は今でもあの場所で

いつか笑顔で会える その時まで
ずっと君のやさしさ忘れない
この想いが届くように 信じて
I’m wishing 願うよ

その笑顔 その瞳が今でも
鮮やかに 輝きを増してゆく
I know it こんなに届きそうなのに
想うほどに遠ざかるの

あの日君に出会って恋したこと
手を繋いでふたりで過ごしたこと
この奇跡をもう一度だけ 信じて
I’m wishing きっと

いつか笑顔で会える その時まで
ずっと君のやさしさ忘れない
この想いが届くように 信じて
I’m wishing 願うよ

 

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